David

President-Elect Donald Trump Nominates Hoggish Greedly to Lead EPA, Cites “Visionary” Approach to Natural Resource Management

Washington, D.C. — In a surprising twist that has raised eyebrows across the globe, President-Elect Donald Trump announced today that he would be nominating Hoggish Greedly, the infamous industrialist known for his, shall we say, “flexible” approach to environmental ethics, to head the Environmental Protection Agency. Greedly, known widely from his antics on the animated…

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Florida Man Manifests a Harris Victory

In a bizarre twist to election night coverage, Florida Man Dirty Dan has announced a landslide victory for Kamala Harris after an exceptionally vivid dream. According to Dan, the dream revealed a timeline where Harris took the presidency with such overwhelming support that news outlets called the race the instant polls closed in Hawaii. “It…

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